Everything You Need for a Perfect Patio
I respectfully disagree with anyone who believes the word ‘perfect’ is subjective. Have you ever read Plato’s philosophies? He believed that there was a perfect form of everything that exists in the heavens, and this is my philosophy as well. I’ll admit, patio sets here on earth cannot be perfect because they are material things and not ideas that exist in the heavens. However, I had an out-of-body experience where I traveled to the realm of perfect forms and I’m certain that I can help you create a patio set here in the material world that is as close to perfect as possible. The Premier Patio blog usually talks about specific parts of patios, but today I’ll cover entire patio sets because humans have created everything we need to build a near perfect patio. This one is for you, Hypatia and Plato.
Patio Set Dining Table
The dining should be brown and placed eight feet from the door leading to the patio. When I was pulled from this waking life into the eternal plane of ideas, I was first shown a dining table. This should be the focus of your patio set. However, I was surprised to see that Plato was sitting at a six-seat table and Hypatia was sitting at four-seat table. I’ve been thinking about this a lot and what it means for a patio set. Apparently, both of these types of tables are somehow the perfect form for a dining table. The dining table chairs were also brown and had a slight recline and deep-blue cushions.
Patio Set Loveseats and Cushioned Chairs
I was very pleased to see that the perfect patio set included two loveseats. They are easily my favorite piece of furniture. I’d even say I LOVE them. If you are facing the dining table from the door, the loveseats and chairs are ten feet away from the far-right corner at a forty-five-degree angle. Both loveseats were a deep red and faced each other with a low brown table in between them. The two cushioned chairs were also a deep red and had a circular base that allowed them to swivel 360 degrees. The loveseats faced the long end of the table, and the chairs the short end. If for some reason you don’t want to create a perfect patio set, you can replace the chairs with two more loveseats and still be pretty close.
Patio Set Outdoor Pottery
Yes, the perfect patio set included six pieces of pottery that included different kinds of plants. For some reason, I’ve worked with quite a few people who pushed back against the necessity of outdoor pottery. What’s up with that? Anyways, there are four pieces of pottery in the loveseat area, one on each side of the loveseats, two feet away from their sides. All of these pieces have a two-foot long square lip that tapers as it gets closer to the ground. They are turquoise in color, and have wavy ridges going down their sides. I’ll apologize to everyone who lives in cold and humid climates, because each piece of pottery has three golden barrel cactuses and red and yellow chuparosas–apparently the perfect patio set was meant for more arid climates. Ten feet to the left of the dining table are two large pieces of water feature pottery. The water feature pottery matches the other pieces in that they have a square lip and taper down, but these are a burnished copper color.
Patio Set Umbrellas
Nobody should be sweating or staring into the sun while enjoying the perfect patio set. Has anyone seen Hamilton? Remember when Thomas Jefferson was in the cabinet rap battle with Alexander Hamilton? As a quick tangent, why was the play named Hamilton? I get that it’s the last name of the main character, but I would have liked to see a title that added to some other aspect of the play or something. Anyway, Thomas Jefferson said this line that in the south they had it made in the shade, and that’s how the perfect patio set should make people feel. There has to be four umbrellas that are eight feet tall, two blue ones by the loveseats and two red ones by the dining table. I hate to do this, but I’m not going to tell you where to place them. I don’t have much going for me in my life, and I’d feel better if I am in the only one in the material world who has the almost perfect patio set. Maybe if I get through this rough patch with my partner I’ll consider updating the blog.
Don’t Believe Me?
That’s fine. I know what I saw in the world of perfect forms, and I even gave Hypatia a high-five. I said that one cliché line to my friend Sasha that was like “I’m never washing this hand again,” but I obviously did because you shouldn’t have really dirty hands because the perfect patio set furniture isn’t dirty. Also, sorry the pictures aren’t pictures of an actual perfect patio set, I still want to keep those for myself.
If you’d like to take the next step in furnishing the perfect patio set, contact us at Premier Patio today!